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View Profile Welldoneshellfish
Alright, you slimy bastard. You pissstain wankmuch. You know that sensation that you experience when in an accelerating vehicle where you're being involuntarily jostled about by water, terrain or a slight unsteadiness while in the air? I do that shit.

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Where's the beef?

Posted by Welldoneshellfish - December 2nd, 2017


Where's the beef?


1

Comments (3)

An ad company changed my line from "Where's the meat", to that... I was in a crowded restaraunt with my parents in Flordia, just belwo the age of puberty. Was somewhere outside DisneyLand/World, and I had ordered a hamburger, kid's meal. When it arrived, gave it a look, looked okay, the busy and harried waitress left. Took the top bun off to find nothing - no lettuce, condiments, anything. So, while the booze smelling and crumpled ad men were laughing loudly, a grateful volume decrease settled in before I busted out "Hey, where the meat?"

Anyway, the ad men had been done eating for a while, definitely heard them talking about my outburst, they left. I was accused of hiding the meat, looking for a free burger.. it got resolved; cook was hung over, apparently my order was underneath a spat in the back. Few months later: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug75diEyiA0

Jesus, man; I didn't expect that this was such a personal question for any of the Newgrounds regulars, lol.

I can certainly relate to the feeling, though; funnily enough, I have a similar anecdote that has less grounds to be anything beyond coincidence than your story, but flummoxes me on some level to this day. When I was in the fifth grade, I had a friend named Kyle that I would discuss horror films and other inappropriate motion picture-related content with, because neither of us were allowed to see any of them although, I lied and told him that I could see any I pleased; I had/have helicopter parents that would never let it slide, so I was completely full of shit to suggest it. One day in the school cafeteria while we were eating at these long, colored, silky ass tables we sat at every day, we were discussing the information that IMDB can provide as to what certain inappropriate films contain. I decided I would tell another white lie to impress Kyle and suggest that I knew all the crazy horror-film-related life hacks and told him that at the bottom of the page of each film is a blue parental advisory section that he can read to find information on the films that spark his interest; he was incredulous and going through all of this "do you swear to God that's true?" nonsense with me, but I didn't relent and the conversation continued for the entire lunch period. The next day, Kyle and I are in class and he tells me that he was able to find that I was completely full of shit and going to Hell for lying etc. etc. (off-topic, but I have no idea why the dude was so religious considering he would talk about fucking peoples' moms the next day lol; kids are silly) and then a few months later, IMDB actually creates a blue parental advisory section at the bottom of the page detailing everything inappropriate in every film. It's like a glitch in the matrix when this shit happens.

Never be scared of asking questions, only the answers, huh? I'd get written statements from my folks but they're dead.

That's something.. the same color and location too, huh? Guess the new world order has us all thinking alike now, who knows.